Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
