Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
