Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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