Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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