He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
