did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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