When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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