You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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