i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize