Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
