Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
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just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
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Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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