..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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