she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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