I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
