Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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