hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
