Plan B is the new Plan A
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
