she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
