did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
