Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
