I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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