I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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