So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
