she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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