dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
