i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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