Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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