they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
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Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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