I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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