is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
