Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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