Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
