I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
soo... how was my night?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
