Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
