he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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