On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
