mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
