I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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