I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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