Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
