Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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