What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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