After last night, I could never be a politician.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize