He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
