WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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