i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
