Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
