you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I smell like Dick and happiness
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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