I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
