I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
