If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just want nice things and good sex
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
