I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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