Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize