The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
