Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
