I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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