She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
What drink are we having for lunch?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
