Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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