New low: just hacked my moms facebook
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
