Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
