Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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