My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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